Zell's Wacky Inventions 3:Cloning Confusion
by Flayme
Summary: Zell's been studying genetics, and he has 200 evil clones! A lot of very weird things happen, including a Tofu war (?) Please read and Review!


Zell's wacky inventions 3-Cloning confusion  
  
Roses are red, bluebells are...errrrr...blue, I don't own FF, so nuts to you!  
^_^ hee hee! Again, I recommend you read my first 2 stories before this one.  
(And in case you didn't know, the * marks mean that's what someone's thinking) Enjoy!  
  
(The scene is in Zell's room. Squall walks in through the door, and zell appears to be talking to something.....or is it someone?....)  
Squall:*Oh no...Zell's gone even more mental than he already is.. For his sake, I just hope he's not talking to himself...*  
Zell:Oh,hi Squall. I didn't hear ya come in. Wanna see my new pet?  
(Squall walks over and sees a tiny Seifer in a Jam Jar with air holes in the lid)  
Seifer:CHICKEN-WUSS! YOU REVERSE THAT SHRINK RAY OF YOURS RIGHT NOW! I'LL KILL YA!  
Zell:YOU are gonna kill ME? I don't think so...it's math time! 5 air holes minus 5 air holes equals 1 VERY DEAD LITTLE BASTARD! (blocks up the air holes)  
Seifer:ZELL! (coff coff) Zell....I'm sorry (coff)....I'll (coff) behave...just let me live...  
Zell:You promise you'll give me that £10,000 back?  
Seifer:(coff)....yes  
Zell:You promise not to call me chicken-wuss?  
Seifer:......................yes.............  
(Zell unblocks the air holes)  
Seifer:(gasp) Whew....I can breathe...will you make me big again now, Zell?  
Zell:Hmmm.......maybe later!  
Seifer:Why you....  
Zell:Naughty Naughty! Or I'll block up the air holes again!  
Seifer:OK..OK I'll be good...  
(Squall stares at Zell)  
Zell:WHAT? Oh alright I'll reverse the ray later on...but only if you stop staring at me...  
Squall:Deal.  
Zell:Hey Squall, wanna see my....  
Squall:Let me guess, another useless invention  
Zell:Well, kinda. Squall, meet my new friend!  
Squall:What?  
(Zell runs to the bathroom)  
Zell:Hey buddy, I have someone to meet ya!  
????:Okaaaayyyy....I'll be right out, lemme just finish gelling my hair...  
Zell:Squall, this is number 2...  
Squall:Number 2?  
(An exact copy of zell with a sign saying "#2" walks out of the bathroom)  
#2:Hi!  
Squall:Zell, what's going on?  
Zell:Oh, #2 here is the first of many clones. I've been studying genetics so, I cloned myself!  
Squall:*Oh god and I thought only ONE zell was bad enough....*  
#2:Is he always this quiet?  
Zell:'Fraid so...  
Squall:Well Zell, clone of Zell, I'd better get going....errrr I have an appointment...  
Zell and #2:OK! See ya!  
(Squall walks out the door and into the hallway)  
Squall:*Shit....wait 'til I tell the others about this....*  
  
(He walks down the hallway to the libary, where he meets the others)  
Irvine:Oh, hi Squall. Wassup?  
Squall:You won't belive this, but Zell has a clone....  
(everyone stares at him)  
Rinoa:(walks up to squall) Are you sure you're alright? Have you been eating the green jell-o from the cafeteria..?  
Squall:I'm perfectly fine, Rinoa. I'm not kidding, Zell has a clone and there's gonna be even more....  
Selphie:Cloning? How would he do that?  
Irvine:(is daydreaming about him, 200 Selphie clones and a swimming pool full of banana yougurt...) Ahhhh....Selphie....Selphie....Selphie....  
Selphie:(stares at Irvine) There he goes again...  
(everyone laughs and they all walk out of the libary)  
Quistis:Zell? Cloning? Yeah right, good joke Squall...  
(Zell walks past)  
Zell:Hi Quistis!  
Quistis:Hi Zell! See Squall, no clones.  
(another zell walks past)  
Zell2:Hi Quistis!  
Quistis:Wha....?  
(and another)  
Zell3:Hi Quistis!  
(then another 10 Zells walk past all in 1 big group)  
Zells:Hi Quistis!  
(Quistis faints)  
Irvine:Jesus Christ....Squall WASN'T kidding....  
Squall:I just hope this cloning doesn't get out of hand....  
  
(3 days later, Squall is in his room, reading the latest issue of Timber Maniacs)  
Squall:.......what's that?  
(He hears banging on his door, and someone yelling "Lemme in!!!!" he opens the door and zell (the original) runs in, his clothes in shreds and his hair a mess)  
Zell:SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT THE DOOOOORRRR!!!!  
Squall:(Slams the door) Zell? What's going on?!?!?  
Zell:It's the clones! They're outta control! They tried to kill me! They're evil, REALLY evil, all 200 of them!  
Squall:TWO HUNDRED?  
Zell:YES! 200!!!!! They're trying to kill me!!!!!  
Squall:You stay in here, I'll go and get the others..  
Zell:Alright...  
(Squall runs down the hallway, pushing through a wild pack of rampaging clones, and finally finds the others on the 3f, trying to escape the clones)  
Rinoa:Oh Squall! (hugs him) Thank god you're alright! It's madness down there!  
Squall:Yeah I know..  
Irvine:How are we gonna stop them? WHO SENT IN THE CLONES???  
Selphie:Is the original Zell OK?  
Squall:Yes, thank god  
Quistis:Wait a second.....if these are clones of zell, than they've got to be EXACTLY the same as zell....hmmm....maybe if we fight them with something zell hates, it might destroy them! But what does Zell hate more than anything?  
Rinoa:Seifer?  
Irvine:People who diss Britany Spears?  
Selphie:Waking up and realising he has no hair gel?  
Rinoa:Selphie's corny jokes?  
Selphie:HEY!  
Squall:Hmmm....I GOT IT! We've been best friends since we were kids, so I know what he hates more than anything!  
All:WHAT?  
Squall:TOFU HOT DOGS! I remember he ate one once and he puked everywhere, he refused to eat for 3 days!  
Rinoa:Good idea, but where are we gonna get Tofu Hot dogs?  
Squall:I know EXACTLY where! The kitchens! Tell you what guys, me and Irvine'll go to the kitchens. You girls go to the weapons store and get some bazookas. We'll meet in the cafeteria. Let's GO!  
(They all run off)  
  
(In the hallway, Squall and Irvine are keeping back the evil clones with some shooting and slashing, they eventually get to the cafeteria, where the girls are waiting for them.)  
Squall:OK, we've got the Tofu Dogs, you've got the bazookas, Quistis, you'll have to be the bait.  
Quistis:What do I have to do?  
Squall:Just do what I tell you (inaudible whispers)  
  
(Meanwhile, in the hallway)  
Clone #184:Hey, 56, where's #1?  
Clone #56:I dunno....I JUST WANNA KILL HIM!!!  
(Suddenly Quistis runs up to the clones)  
Clone #99:Who's that?  
Quistis:BRITANY SPEARS SUCKS! I HATE HOT DOGS! ZELL IS A CHICKEN-WUSS! (she runs towards the cafeteria)  
(The evil clones, now REALLY REALLY REALLY MAD, chase quistis into the cafeteria)  
  
(In the cafeteria, Squall and the others are hiding behind a table)  
Squall:Ok....get ready, they're comin this way.....3.....2.....1.....NOW!  
(Squall, Rinoa, Selphie and Irvine jump up onto the table, carrying bazookas loaded with Tofu Dogs)  
Irvine:HEY! CLONES!  
Clones:Huh? (they look at Irvine and the others)  
Selphie:EAT THIS!!!  
(They start firing Tofu Dogs at the clones, who scream,puke, and disappear until there is only #2 left)  
#2:No....please don't kill me....  
Rinoa:Sorry #2...this must never happen again...  
(throws a tofu dog at #2)  
#2:NOOOOOO!!!!!! Agggghhhhhh!! (puke) AGGGHHHHHH!!!! (disappears)  
(they all cheer and then zell comes running into the cafeteria)  
Zell:YEAHHH! YOU GUYS DID IT! AND I'M ALIVE!!!!  
(Suddenly, Cid walks in and goes up to zell)  
Cid:I heard these clones were your fault, Zell....  
Zell:Yes headmaster...  
Cid:I would expell you from garden, but since you gave me that youth potion, I'll let you off...  
Zell:Yesssss!  
Cid:But as punishment, you have to clean up all this puke and tofu dogs.  
Zell:Yes headmaster.....  
(All the others laugh, and Squall turns round and says...)  
Squall:Don't worry folks, he'll be done by the next fanfic! Stay tuned!  
  
END!^_^  
  



End file.
